How to stay together

A committed relationship is not about trying to find the person you like the most, then closing your eyes and hoping the feeling lasts for the rest of your life, You can do that if you like, but you are setting yourself up for a fall, as its an impractical expectation.Sadly, its this it will be alright attitude that many of us seem to have that leads our relationships into choopy waters.

• Be loyal to one another:- There is a whole world out there with the potential to be unkind. In your heart and your home you need to feel safe... so create a sanctuary for each other


• Know each others likes and dislikes:-This will enable you to provide the positives and avoid the negatives when feasible.


• Treat each other with respect:- Treat your partner with respect, Do unto others as you would have done to you. Once the habit of treating each other without respect sets in, it is very, very difficult to stop.


• Dont willingly do things that you know will harm the relationship:- If you know that taking a certain action will damage your relationship, then dont do it, self sabotage is not a pretty sight.

Whenever you talk to couples who have been together for ever, the one thing they all say is that it takes work, but the end results are worth it. You do have to make an effort, if you do theres a good chance youll reap the rewards.

If you just sit there and think it will happen, then dont be surprised at the result. That would be like planting a seedling and never watering it, then complaining when it does not grow into a tree.

Trying to feel the way you felt in the first few months for the rest of your lifes is inpractical. That sense of euphoria is a primeval mating instinct we are born with, so we would be attracted to each other, procreate and move on. The next stage will have less fireworks but it should provide you with that incomparable feeling of being loved for what you are. Creating and maintaining attachment is the secret to a healthy relationship. And that deep sense of attachment often cause someone to stop and consider before playing away. They might get thrills and exitement with someone new- but that deep sense of attachment they only get from you.

When you talk to women about the state of their relationship, they will often cite the change in their partners behaviour as a cause for concern. With men, its often the state of their partners appearance, YES sometimes the behaviour or the appearance has changed, but quiet often, we have just stopped making the effort.

Women who just pull on a pair of tracksuit bottoms to do the school run, or when you come home from a hard day at the office, and us guys, leaving the loo seat up or commenting loudly on bodily functions.. well should that not be one of the benifits of settlement?... No really. there is no need for her to look like bagpuss s granny or for us men to act like Rab C Nesbitt on a bender.....make some effort, both partners need to do this.. you really will feel the better for it.

• Give each other the freedom and time in which to maintain your individuality:-Two wholes make a better unit. The best couples are the ones that walk through life freely yet next to each other, not tied together at the ankle.


• Know whatever makes each other happy or sad:-Know when your partner needs a shoulder to lean on and how to brighten their day when they are having a tough time.

Simple ways to keep your relationship strong

1. Touching.. touch your partner frequently, and not necessarily in a sexual way.. everyone needs and appreciates a good cuddle.


2. Listen to each other..people feel valued when they are listened to.


3. Make eye contact with each other..this sounds so simple. but you would be surprise with how often we have conversations while reading the paper, ironing , or just watching the telly.


4. Stop whatever your doing.. and great each other at the end of the day.


5. Hold hands..when your sleeping. This will create a sense of security and closeness


6. Get into the habit.. of doing new things together. New things lead to discoveries about each other.


7. Date each other..once a month.. more if the budget allows,go on a proper date, that means no kids, nice clothes and away from the house.


8. Have dreams and goals.. work towards them , even if its a very small dream, saving £50 for something you wish to do together...something that you dream together, plan together and work on together.


9. Compliment each other..nothing beats a compliment from someone you love.


10. Surprise each other..with little things. Tuck away her favourite chocolate bar into her handbag.. Book a test drive for him in his dream car...

"OR JUST SAY I LOVE YOU"

With you , I know quiet joy, I know what it is to feel safe, to be able to share the secret of my heart.With you, i can reveal my hurts, my fears, and my shortcomings.

With you, i can tell of my successes and know they will be received with joy

With you, i know i can disagree,and you will respect my point of view and i can be silly or serious, happy or sad, for i know i am accepted, totally for who i am.

I know commitment i can count on, comfort that soothes, and passion that celebrates a tender and caring relationship.

With you i know the beauty of LOVE

Posted by Cecille Anne Lobregas
of
Cecille Anne Lobregas Cosmetics